So arriving back in the states after being gone for four years has its challenges too. There was re-learning how to drive from the left side of our car on the right side of the road, finding and buying a phone, a car and a house all within a matter of days (the base only guarantees you 10 days of housing, 30 at most, and thus we decided on renting), and then there was relearning how to be in America. For Hannah Jane this was all new. It took us the longest time to get her to recognize she was American and not English as she kept insisting (because she spoke more "English" than Japanese. This was a step up from her earlier declaration that she was indeed, Japanese). I have not yet stopped saying the phrase, "In America, we do it this way...." (fill in the blank with "read from left to right", still a challenge with her Kindergarten teacher, "leave our shoes on in restaurants," you've heard this before....). But for us, some things came as a little bit of a shock....at our own culture.
The first and biggest shock I have to say was the widespread, and what still looks like overuse to me of cellphones. Or pocket computers as they look like. Yes, we have since upgraded --and all the way I might add-- and we now own an android and an iphone, both with 4G. And yes, I see the benefits of my new phone and use it for many purposes other than a phone, and for which I am grateful. It's taken me a while to get use to it though, with both Rick and I in the dark on how to operate the things at first. I actually signed up for a class at the Verizon store and found I was the only person under 60 there --- but I really needed the class! Rick actually missed a few calls from the clinic because his ringer was off and he couldn't figure out how to turn it on. I mean, when did they get so complicated?! I would have been content to stick with my little "flipshot" camera phone I had before we left for Japan, but it didn't have real texting capabilities, and after a good friend let me gently know that I wouldn't be in the mom's clubs if I couldn't send and receive texts, I made the leap. Actually, the final straw was when a text message, which I got charged for, came through on my old phone from the people delivering our desperately needed refrigerator, asking me to "press confirm" on the date and time of delivery, otherwise they'd have to reschedule for a week later. After punching every number on my phone trying to reply "YES!!!", my phone rang and an annoyed sounding clerk asked if I'd gotten the text they'd sent. While annoyed myself that he were annoyed that he'd actually had to CALL, God forbid, to confirm our delivery time, I realized that sometimes there might be a need to text...and do some other things phones can do now. So we bought. And learned. It's been a sharp learning curve (Rick's learned to turn the ringer on and off, and I've learned that it won't bring you wine when you ask it to, even nicely....but it will take you to one of many nearby wineries!). But I can't say I'm using it all the time --- I don't walk around with it, and like my email, I check for text messages only every so often. Maybe that will change. But I hope not too much. I do use it to peek at CNN news while I'm eating my sandwich alone at Panera's, but if you're across the table from me, I'd better have it in my purse...and if it's not, tell me! This revelation came one night when out to dinner at a restaurant.... I looked around in shock at all the people, having dinner together, not talking to one another but looking down at the tables. I couldn't figure out why every one's head was bowed and no one was talking -- I felt like I was in another foreign country and I didn't know the customs again. I mean everyone -- from grandpas to little 5-year olds-- were looking down at something, and not talking to each other. When I realized they all had phones and were texting, watching, playing, reading, whatevering, everything except enjoying each other, I seriously started to cry. When did this happen? I mean I know it was going on in Japan to some extent, but maybe I wasn't paying attention or didn't care because, well, I was in Japan. But this is my own country...and I felt like the biggest outsider all of a sudden. The other thing about phones that shocked me was the extent that people use them in their car. With the added capabilities, it's just given people more reason to use them, and everyone it seems is using them in their car...while they are driving at top speeds. The other day Hannah Jane and I barely missed being crashed into by a grandpa-- he was at least 70 I'd say-- that was punching away at his phone and not paying attention to what lane he was in (he moved half way into mine before noticing). Phones are a great tool, yes, and even in the car. It's been invaluable to navigate our way around and find places here in our new home. But for God's sake do not operate the car and the phone at the same time --pull over, use the voice commands if need, or program your destination before you start the car (Remember, "Friends don't let friends drive and phone!")
So that's all I'm gonna say on that! Another shocker has been our immersion into life as a kindergartner. School itself has been a wonderful shock-- we love it! Except for the three less hours a day we're missing (on the first day Hannah Jane said it was too short...still says so). Hannah Jane is THRILLED to find that there are other kids with "yellow hair" like hers, and that everyone speaks english. Another great shocker has been relinquishing my roll as teacher to her REAL teacher...thank God! I am greatly relieved to hand over this duty to someone who actually knows how to teach a 5-year old and won't make her cry when she tries. I love her teacher! I am less thrilled and even a little shocked at times by the after-school activities we're involved in....or I should say, the parental attitudes and behaviors. First up is soccer -- parents screaming on the sidelines, cheering or just hollering in general, soooooooo not Japanese. But it's OK, cause, it's soccer....and we're outside, and it's all part of the fun. I've just gotta get used to it. Then there's gymnastics, which our similar activity I have to compare it to in Japan was ballet. At the Japanese ballet school we attended in Misawa I would sit silently on the floor with the other mothers, twisted into "Mother's pose" (knees bent underneath you, sitting on your feet), while the children danced to the commands of the teacher with the only other sound being the music. The children knew not to speak during class, as did the parents. If you had to speak, you whispered the few necessary words at the right moment that wouldn't disrupt class. Not so in American gymnastics class. Sitting in the designated parents area I look around at all the ambient conversations going on in normal and even loud tones as the gymnastic instructor struggles to be heard among the even louder children that are talking back to her (and not nicely), and all I can think is......"whhhaaaaaaat?!?" Maybe I would have recognized this all as rude and disrespectful behavior had I not lived in Japan, but having had the experience of seeing how polite and respectful the Japanese people are to both foreigners and each other, I've found it hard to acclimate back into my own culture at times.
And I never once heard a Japanese person use their car horn. 'Nough said on that......(Except that the first time someone beeped at me at a light in California I actually jumped--scared me silly).
But I'm getting use to things. I'm sure by the next time you see me I'll be punching away at my cellphone, yelling obscenities at the ref at the soccer game from the front seat of my car as I blare my horn at the other parents in the parking lot who won't move their asses. It's good to be back in America!!
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